Smash-Me Doll

If I could create a smash-me doll, I would make a doll of my roommate, Chris. He basically instigated a war between two people that used to live in our house with us and myself. He would always be telling me about the things they would say when I was gone, and being pregnant with raging hormones does not help the situation. A fight broke out between me and the girl that used to live with us (at the time her and her boyfriend still lived with us) and it turned into a pretty bad fist fight. I won, of course. That day of the fight, they were in the process of moving back to her dad’s house and they still haven’t given the key to our house back and that day was supposed to be the last day to take their stuff out of our house. Instead, they refused to give the key and locked their room door with a bunch of their junk still left over and drove to her dad’s. I was furious so the next morning I picked the lock and threw their junk outside, everything that they had left.

(This is where Chris comes in) Chris even helps me out with taking their crap outside of the house, especially the bed since I couldn’t move that on my own. Since Chris had been sleeping on the couch and had no room, the room the couple used to own would be his room. He got right to it and started cleaning and moving his stuff into his new room. Just for a little background, I trusted Chris as if he were my brother. We clicked pretty much when we first met and we even talked him out of moving to Florida because he would only get in trouble there. But anyways, I was already late for work since I had been moving the couple’s belongings outside. It was garbage day that day. I had told the couple that if they didn’t want their stuff to be taken away by the garbage man then I suggest they take it now. I had asked Chris to do me one thing, and it is to watch my room and make sure they are not allowed in the house. I knew that the couple was going to be pissed and do something with my stuff since all their crap is out of the house. But they didn’t stick to the agreement, they were supposed to leave the house key and have all their belongings out of the house by a certain date and they failed to do so. Chris said, “Yeah I understand, don’t worry about it, I wouldn’t want my stuff to get trashed too.” So then I left for work. I get a call from my other roommate (Chris’s cousin) saying that the couple had already left and took their stuff with them. I asked her if they came into the house and she said the girl came in. Right there and then I asked her to check my room. I was right, it was completely trashed.

I drove home immediately and began yelling at Chris. He first said, “She needed to get some movies inside the house” then I had asked him if he watched her, he said no. I became even angrier and started to lose my cool. He then started yelling back, getting in my face, and threw things around saying, “You’re a grown woman and don’t expect her to not do anything to your stuff when you threw theirs outside! It’s not my responsibility!” So… there you have it. I asked him to do one thing, and one thing only. WATCH MY THINGS. He said he would and that he wouldn’t want things like that to happen to him. He said he wasn’t going to let them into the house. I trusted him, and now all that happened. Ever since then, I took back my laptop, iPod, and television that he was using in his room and we haven’t spoken to each other ever since then. He apologized to my boyfriend and said that he’s embarrassed to talk to me. I don’t give a flying fuck. He doesn’t have the balls to come to me and apologize, and every time I’m in the same room as him he would run back upstairs to his room. He’s a coward and I would love to see his face get smashed, but I guess a doll would do the trick. For a 21 year old guy with long hair and has no qualifications to get a job what-so-ever, good luck trying to survive in this world. He already can’t pay for rent!

I would so love a doll that looks like him so I can beat the shit out of it. Sorry for the French, but repeating this story makes me so angry. I hate being pregnant sometimes.